Home » Luhya Culture » Dead Husbands, Cheating Wives, Eating Rats and Secret Concoctions: When A Woman Cheats – The Anatomy Of Luhya Myths on Infidelity

Dead Husbands, Cheating Wives, Eating Rats and Secret Concoctions: When A Woman Cheats – The Anatomy Of Luhya Myths on Infidelity

This entry is part 1 of 14 in the series Luhya Myths On infidelity

Infidelity is the action or state of being unfaithful to a spouse or other sexual partner. In a study conducted by anti-cheating technology platform Trustify and published in February 2017, over 1/3 of marriages, reported infidelity of one or both partners. However, more recent infidelity statistics by the same firm are startling. In addition, contrary to popular notions, women don’t lag behind. 50% of female partners admitted to cheating. In comparison, 55% of men confess to cheating. The figures might be different, but the reality of Kenyan scenario is similar. And if you thought cheating is a modern problem, then you haven’t done your homework. This twelve part series on luhya myths on infidelity will astound as much as it will inform. Through a dozen well researched blog posts, we trace the anatomy of infidelity in traditional and modern luhya societies.


Khulia chimbeba,

kimipango cha kando, zinguza, kuvaya chova,

khukhwalikha enje, khuana kumukunda khumundu okhali nende title deed tawe kaakemo,

side plate, side dish, away match

infidelity synonyms

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THROUGH THE AGES, RAT EATERS HAVE BEEN WITH US

Infidelity is as old as man. Like the oldest profession, it has been with us since time immemorial. For example, among the Bukusu, as it was the case across Luhya land, philandering wives were dealt with much diplomacy. This was done so as to avoid needless disruption of familial ties built through intricate marriage customs and traditions. Furthermore, luhya traditions are awash with safety nets that are admittedly generous in permissions ensuring the integrity of the institution of marriage.

For example, childless marriages due to male infertility would be covered up by the kind acts of brothers. A brother could sire for another to hide infertility. The children sired out of these acts of brotherly love would be the children of the sterile man for all intents and purposes.

He would proceed to name the child as traditions permitted. Circumcise him if a boy. Accept dowry if the child was a girl. And inherit and disinherit as he deemed. In polygamous marriages where the patriarch died and left behind a particularly young wife with young cubs to care for, an elder brother from one of the ‘bigger houses’ would literally step into his father’s shoes. He would bring forth a child with the widow to his father to ‘cement’ the union.


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THIS BUKUSU PROVERB THAT CAPTURES THE GIST OF LUHYA MYTHS ON INFIDELITY

Think about it, luhya culture is designed in such a way that infidelity shouldn’t be a problem. At least not a problem in the proportions it is today. First, a philosophy of ‘keeping it in the family’ ensures that if a lad died young, his children’s and wife’s needs would be carted for.

For instance, this mantra offers room for the dead man’s cousin or brother to bring up, as the bukusu say, guinea fowls among chicken: nobaya likhanga obayilamo chingokho. Now, before you dismiss this as a ploy by patriarchy to marry off young women to old geezers, consider that the process was socially engineered to achieve two things: the widow’s sexual satisfaction, and a future for the orphans.

Therefore, whomever ‘took over’ from had to be acceptable to both. Matter of fact, courting and courtship did happen afresh. Moreover, even in happier times, it was common for age set mates to ‘play’ with each other’s wives without much ado.

However, even with such liberal boundaries, a few bad rats were. Like a big brother who plays with the wife of a younger brother. That’s a no-no. More recently, westernization of mulembe societies has manufactured more situations that test these boundaries. As a result, khulia chimbeba has been a fixture of modern unions.

What Is Khulia Chimbeba?

Of all the luhya synonyms of infidelity, we found the bukusu phrase “Khulia chimbeba” translated as “eating rats” as most apt. What follows in this series, are the sometime hilarious, tribulations of men and women literally caught with their pants down.

The ebb and flow of life is give and take. Thus, by the end of this series on luyha myths on infidelity, we’ll hopefully have demonstrated that. Because for every concession of luhya marriage customs mentioned above, there were luhya myths on infidelity that cut the other way. Nonetheless, the ultimate goal was the same: achieve social harmony through robust marriages.

Buckle down for the ride ahead. These real life stories about; answers to common questions on; anecdotes and legends on luhya myths on infidelity will enlighten and amuse. Sometimes, you’ll laugh. Other times, you’ll empathize. Whichever way you’ll take this, we bare it all. Because it’s our hope that you’ll enjoy this cultural trip.

12 Part Series On Luhya Myths On Infidelity


Poster image featuring image of man on hospital bed and titled : luhya myths concerning infidelity - ailing husbands and cheating wives

Of Ailing Husbands, Cheating Wives and Their Lovers

The significance of Mzee Barasa’s cunning acts isn’t lost to those versed with luhya myths concerning infidelity. This is a story of how a father saved his sons from death


poster image featuring words commonly used to describe kamanyasi : witchcraft, tradition, culture

Kamanyasi, Is It Witchcraft or Tradition?

Should kamanyasi be feared, or embraced? The luhya word kamanyasi means medicine. In today’s oral literature, this word in the context of luhya myths on infidelity could mean many things. Learn with us, laugh with us in part three.


poster image titled religion & luhya myths about infidelity, featuring image of church isle

How Religion Compounds Luhya Myths About Infidelity

Part four of this series highlights instances where modern faith embraces traditional burial rites prevalent across mulembe. By doing so, we learn how religion has compounded luhya myths about infidelity.


poster image of a man ane womans crossing fingers by the sea to illustrate the spirit of luhya myths on infidelity when divorced or separated

Do These Myths Apply When You’re Divorced or Separated?

What are the luhya myths on Infidelity when separated or divorced? In part five, we will learn from cousin Ayuma’s predicament. Further more, we’ll come learn how luhya culture on divorce protected luhya women from stifling patriarchal norms.


poster image featuring a male lion to contrast the topic : How luhya myths on infidelity castrate patriachy

Wait! Do Men Get Let Off?

For a society termed both patriarchal and patrilineal, it might come as a surprise to many that it was not always a man’s world in mulembe. Part six of this series is a microcosm of how luhya myths on infidelity castrate patriarchy


poster featuring universal colours indicating the term 'non luhyas' is being used inclusively rather than exclusively

What If My Spouse is Not Luhya, Do These Myths still Apply?

Do luhya myths on infidelity apply to non luhyas? Indeed, relationships are rosy until the differences, within and without, rear their head. The differences are especially stark if the relationship is cross-cultural. Given that, one has to wonder how cross-cultural unions handle luhya myths on infidelity.


Wish this post was about that roast here, but it's about something more serious: other meats and luhya myths on infidelity

What’s The Beef?

Emondo, the chicken gizzard, is reserved for the patriarch whenever a chicken is slaughtered. It gets even more interesting when it comes to meat and luhya myths on infidelity.


poster: Are you in th ehabit of eating rats?

How To Get Away With Eating Rats. 7 Tips How Not To Get Caught

No doubt, luhya myths on infidelity are tough luck, but every good rule must carry suitable permissions. Luhya myths on infidelity are no lesser mortals when it comes to that. Part nine combed through these rules handed down from our ancestors. As a result,with the help of our hilarious friend Metrine, we came up this guide on how to get away with eating rats aka chimbeba


poster image with a potrait of boy looking into the future to symbolise the spirit of luhya myths on infidelity where children are involved

What Happens To The Kids?

A mulembe society protects children. As these luhya myths on infidelity where children are involved reveal, child protection services didn’t start with the white man.


poster featuring animal skull for effect to highlight the sacrifice aspect of silukhi, that demonstrates the role of fine and luhya myths

Caught In The Act? If You Knew What The Alternative Was, You’d gladly Accept This Fine

This captivating take on khurunga silukhi, paying silukhi, will provide a rare look in to both mulembe’s culture of fines and luhya myths on infidelity.


the chaos of this abstarct painting is used to symbolize the brutality of khuuna kumusakhu

Luhya Myths On Infidelity Hit Where It Hurts Most

This captivating take on khurunga silukhi, paying silukhi, will provide a rare look in to both mulembe’s culture of fines and luhya myths on infidelity.

Series NavigationIs it True That a Woman Who Has Been Unfaithful is not Allowed to Nurse, or Mourn in Close Proximity to Her Husband In The Event He Dies? >>

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