- Dead Husbands, Cheating Wives, Eating Rats and Secret Concoctions: When A Woman Cheats – The Anatomy Of Luhya Myths on Infidelity
- Is it True That a Woman Who Has Been Unfaithful is not Allowed to Nurse, or Mourn in Close Proximity to Her Husband In The Event He Dies?
- Kamanyasi Chronicles
- How Religion Compounds Luhya Myths About Infidelity
- Luhya Myths On Infidelity When Divorced or Separated
- Wait! Do Men Get Let Off? How Luhya Myths On Infidelity Castrate Patriarchy
- Do Luhya Myths On Infidelity Apply To non Luhyas?
- Of Other Meat and Luhya Myths On Infidelity
- The Ultimate Cheaters Cheat Sheet – How To Get Away With Eating Rats
- Luhya Myths On Infidelity Where Children Are Involved
- Khuuna Kumusakhu: Caught In The Act, What’s The Worst That Could Happen?
- The Culture Of Fines And Luhya Myths On Infidelity
- 5 unique first date ideas in Bungoma under 1500 bob
- The Kwa Dina Overpass Plugs in much needed juice to a once vibrant neighborhood in Webuye town
The luhya are among the few African cultures that don’t circumcise their women. What does that have to do with luhya myths on infidelity? Plenty we believe, but that’s of interest to anthropology. Anthropology is a compound subject matter that this series barely gleams the surface of. Conversely, this series on luhya myths on infidelity fashions itself as an anatomical piece that grossly delineates the contours. In doing so, through it, we’ve come to realize that for society widely termed as both patriarchal and patrilineal, it’s not always a man’s world in mulembe. What follows is a microcosm of how luhya myths on infidelity castrate patriarchy.
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The quintessential, if you like, stereotypical representation of the luhya male is that he is the most African of African men – in all his glory and faults. To argue as we will here, that omundu strong isn’t a law unto himself might come as a surprise to some; But not so for regular readers of Mulembe Nation. Case in memory: Our review of the luhya hit song Kutalang’i revealed that even the most alpha of luhya males can draw their kinship matrilineality.
Luhya Culture: A Culture of Harmonious Existence, A Culture Of Peace.
Because, I mean, who would have thought veteran politician, Omwami Muskari Kombo, would be commonly known as Muskari WaNasipwondi? Meaning Askari son of Nasipwondi? After all, you don’t get more luhya than that. Or do you? Muskari WaNasipwondi was a Minister of State, Member of Parliament, party leader and Bukusu elder… name them. Nasipwondi, the matriarch, must have died proud to have nee such a kutalang’i.
Beyond that, this part of the series, continues to illustrate that Muskari Kombo’s case wasn’t an aberration of culture, but the norm. Furthermore, through out this series, we have had glimpses of instances where luhya culture is demanding on the male as regards infidelity.
The Mixed Zone
Admittedly, this discourse on how luhya myths on infidelity castrate patriarchy wont be as detailed as the stipulates that women have to observe; but it’s nonetheless impressive. Especially when one considers that luhya marriage customs allow for polygamy, wife inheritance and secondary marriages including variants of levirate and sororate unions.
Therefore, just to define male infidelity in such societal context wouldn’t be a walk in the park. All said, we have to recognize that luhya culture is known as the culture of peace. Maybe, just maybe, this nobility arises from how the luhya have traditionally treated their women.
The following instances illustrate how luhya culture was equally hard on both men and women in the habit of eating chimbeba. First off, a warning to the Casanovas.
Happily The Third Wheel? Why You Shouldn’t
The first reason why men shouldn’t be happy being the rat — committing adultery with some other man’s woman — is found in part two of this series. In that installment, death is the punishment attached to the taboo of coming into close proximity with a dying man, or his corpse if you have been sleeping with his woman.
Death is also the prize for playing ‘buddy buddy’ with the man whose wife you are screwing. Be it through your own folly or his deviousness, if it happens that you end up sharing meat with him, it’s adios. Part eight on other meat and luhya myths on infidelity taught us that.
But, you might be wondering, all this stipulates is what happens to the male accomplice in a love triangle. I’m certain that in the spirit of modern times, most of the readers would be interested in knowing what happens when a man has been unfaithful to his wife.
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There are two ways to look at this. First, when the casanova gets caught ‘ploughing land that he has no title deed to’. Secondly, from the perspective of a grieving cheating husband who is freshly widowed. In this case we will look at how luhya myths on infidelity castrated a philandering man preparing to inter his wife.
3 ways Luyha myths on infidelity castrate patriarchy
A Promise of death is the constant
More on what follows will be discussed in detail in part twelve of this series. Nonetheless, a summary. There are only two outcomes when a man is caught with another man’s wife. Per luhya customs, it’s either an animal dies, or the Wambumuli (philanderer) dies.
While part twelve of this series on luhya myths on infidelity will detail each of the two scenarios above, it will do so from the perspective of the aggrieved husband. We therefore find it necessary to expend some trouble and spell it out. The ‘rat’ will suffer either way. At best, they will incur a huge cost paying a fine. At worst, it is death with no honor.
Not Just Any Death, But A Dishonorable Death
Not only is the possibility of your corpse being defiled real, but also the chance that you’ll be forgotten soon after palpable more than ever.
Here at Mulembe Nation, we take immense pride in how luhya folktales often explain modern life. How ages old communal knowledge is transmitted one generation to the next, blessing those along the way. We particularly have found prestige in our illustration of the value of the Maragoli saying inyundu erondera keheregte and the Maragoli folktale of Kibisu, to medical anthropology and epidemiology respectively.
But who’d thought we would find more gems whilst dissecting the anatomy of luhya myths on infidelity? Mordern medicine will tell you that a nursing baby can get sick, by way of it’s mother’s milk. Diseases that are spread in this manner are often venereal in nature. The likes of hepatitis B and HIV. This means that a father’s indiscretions might result in a child’s illness and even death from disease.
As These Luhya Myths On Infidelity Castrate Patriarchy, Behold, A Lesson In Epidemiology
Tracing how a disease spreads like we have done above is the domain of the modern medical science of epidemiology. Modern? Well our forefathers might disagree. Sadly, the details as to why they would disagree are found in part ten of this series: luhya myths on infidelity where children are involved.
Here’s the gist though: a man who’s ‘walking outside’ his marriage shouldn’t nurse/ carry his young offspring. Doing so would result in the child wasting, becoming weak and even dying. Remember, a man who dies without any offspring in luhya land dies a dishonorable death. He does not get the full honor of luyha death and burial rites.
Moreover, if he dies by the hand of the man with whom his wife he’s sleeping with, the death is even more dishonorable. Part eleven of this series will detail the dishonor of such a death when one is caught, in the manner of the Bukusu proverb ‘nga embichi musipwoni‘, with someone’s other.
Then, You’ll Be Dishonored Some More
The pinnacle of a luhya marriage happens right at the end. When she buries him, or him buries her. It’s part of the reason we don’t do Langata or any other public cemetery. It’s possibly also the reason why other cultures find our funerals too elaborate and celebratory. When they say death is the final rite of the four rites of passage, we luhyas ensure we act the part.
When a man pays dowry for his wife, part of the symbolism is his acquisition of the right to honor her by choosing her final resting place. If it happens that the husband dies before the wife, then where she’ll be buried when her time comes is settled. A wife is always buried next to her husband in mulembe.
If she passes on before him, then it’s him who will “pima (measure) her kaburi (grave)”. If the husband has been unfaithful, the treatment is similar to that of an unfaithful wife: keep away. In any culture, it’s hard for a man not to be able to feed his family. Tell you what, not being able to provide can’t match the pain of a luhya man who’s barred from burying his wife with the dignity she deserves.
How Luhya Myths On Infidelity Castrate Patriarchy: The Don’t Look Taboo & Other Burial Rites For Cheating Husbands
It’s important to note that the burial rites discussed here aren’t necessarily for cheating husbands. But they feature here primarily for the context they provide. Think of them as the surface landmarks of treasures buried deep in the ground.
We start of with khufutara. Khufutara is the requirement that a husband looks the other way when your wife is being lowered into the grave. A luhya man is not allowed to watch as their wife is lowered into the soil if you have other wives or plan to remarry.
No Rest For A Young Widower
Recently, a young igirichi (bull) lost his wife. On the night before his wife was buried, it was rumored that a young girl had been sighted engaging in curious behavior. This young damsel was being shown around the compound, her guide making use of the cover of dark. She was shown the granary, the pit latrine, bananas and the shamba. I’m told into went down to the details such as being shown seveve plant that had wandered in form the neighbors farm.
It all became clear the following day, during the burial. First, the new widower didn’t leave his seat much during the proceedings. His immobility was more apparent when the pallbearers got ready for ‘their work’. Particularly the moments just before and through the lowering of the casket. In military style precision, a group of well endowed women engulfed him where he sat, blocking his view from proceedings.
The young lady who had been seen the night before was his dead wife’s younger sister. She had elected to pick of where her sister had gotten off. Thus the reason for the widower being engulfed in the ‘pseudopodia’ of the village women.
How Luhya Myths On Infidelity Castrate Patriarchy: Uncle Indachi’s Shame
Uncle Indachi also didn’t get to see Aunt Azibeta being lowered into he ground. He, apparently overcome with emotion, had gone to cry in the bush when Aunt Azibeta’s funeral procession to the grave began. He cried there for like for ever. I heard that he never stepped near the grave until much later.
It’s been two years now, and Uncle is cooking for himself. I had thought then that he had intended to remarry. I thought that maybe there was another aunty somewhere and other ‘new’ cousins somewhere. Nothing. His reasons for crying in the bush during aunty’s funeral must have been others. I leave it at that.
