Khukhona mwikhokho is a fast fading Bukusu cultural marriage practice whose contribution to polygamous marriages of the polygyny type (embalikha) of yesteryear is one hard to ignore. We feature it for cultural purposes. Possibly also to offer answers to a lost soul who on tracing their roots, came by a relation that in today’s westernized world maybe a taboo subject.
The Burma war. Before that, the forced trek to Mombasa to board death traps sailing across the Atlantic to the Americas; after a ‘lay off’ in the bowels of the earth at the Shimoni caves of Kwale county. Somewhere in between the war and the caves, the dreaded inyundu afflicted our land; yet again wiping generations of our genes off the planet.
Later, the pull of Nairobi for the young westernized Luhya male at the advent of independence saw some of our brothers get lost in the city, never to return. My sister, I tell you there were dark periods in our existence where by necessity rather than pleasure, a father could take his son’s woman. For it was not a happy occasion, a traditional ceremony had to be performed. The Bukusu called it: khukona mwikhokho.
What is Khukona Mwikhokho?
If we are allowed to make fun of a situation so grim situation that it brought little joy to those involved, we’d define khukona mwikhokho as ‘keeping it in the family’. However, in truth, what happened was a father would inherit his own son’s wife following unforeseen tragedy. Often, the tragedy would be a proper fucktangular.
Again, often, it would involve the three: death in the family; a community ravaged by death from famine or disease; and, finally, a young girl who had married up hoping to escape worse, if not similar, calamitous affliction back at her peoples only to find her in the proverbial fire after jumping out of the pot. Therefore, when it had to be that a father had to khukhwila khu mukhomwana translated as inherit his daughter-in-law.
What misfortune could occasion a father to inherit his daughter-in-law?
The ethics of the white man emphasized “I think and so I am” placing individual above everything else. The ethics of Andimi, Mwambu, Naluse, Arap Kasiamani Re, Nandako and others of our fathers gone before, was one of “I am, so we are.” Therefore in the difficult circumstances that our fathers faced as they conquered these lands for us, decisions made were often those that preserved the group.
For instance, a community facing famine would often marry off their daughters to a neighboring community swimming in plenty. The aim was three fold: First of all, to protect the genome so that the tribe wouldn’t die off. How this was achieved leads us the second reason.
The daughters once married would ensure their people were fed by ‘sending relief food’. And if there was plenty to around, these brave women would also invite their sisters to be their co-wives. For every less mouth to feed back home only served to enhance the survival of the group.
- Agayanzi: The Joyful Baby Girl Name that Embodies Maragoli, Luhya and African Culture
- The one thing a true Luhya home kitchen never lacked
- Thou shall not till! Why in Maragoli culture there was no shamba work following death in the family
The Importance of marriage relations: Wisdom from the Abanyala proverb ‘engira yakamanga ewa omulebe’
Thirdly, marriage being a binding glue as marriage relations were not arbitrary but designed for societal harmony; with divorce being an exception rather the rule, meant that the having their daughters married in another land made tomorrow possible.
It is the Abanyala who say: Engira yakamanga ewa omulebe. That, a path (dries up) ends at a relative’s home. (Thanks to the close communal ties then, village paths often led to some relative of sorts.) Therefore when walking a difficult path, keep walking as it leads to one who holds your peace. Therefore, chances are that they will be the ones who will come to your aid in that time of need.
If it happened that a son died soon after marriage, under such conditions and other confounding factors – an only son, for example- the father could inherit his daughter in law. Needless to add, it was a rare happenstance devoid of vulgarity. Moreover, the ceremony itself was performed in the open.
Furthermore, everything was dependent on a go ahead from the living dead and ancestors. It matters not the number of cattle you herded to her people as payment of her dowry. Neither will it matter that the size of her foot or generous behind suggest fertility. Even if her beauty enchants and makes you to want to jump into the next mwikhokho, as we shall see next when we discuss the details of the ceremony, fidelity to the process key.
Khukona mwikhokho: the ceremony
This ceremony was conducted by clansmen elders as it was a clan affair and never the concern of a singular family or the perversity of individuals. Therefore, before khukona mwikhokho took place, it had to meet a certain threshold, with a particular clan having exhausted all other routes. Excuse my French again, but like we mentioned above, it had to be a proper fucktangular.
What happened was the elders slaughtered a cow. Then the cow was be disemboweled after flaying (khubaaka). The man would then be asked to lie (khukhona) within the cow’s cavity devoid of offal and breathing apparatus. Thereafter, incantations (khukhwisaya) were performed, seeking to beseech ancestors to accept the man’s decision. A new man, the husband-to-be now gets off the cow’s carcass (likhokho).
The woman involved, undergoing similar rituals as the man. Above all, this ceremony took place at a sacred location far away from the man’s homestead. This is to say that it was an open ceremony inasmuch that it involved the entire clan, but not to mean that khukhona mwikhokho was an opportunity for much needed entertainment for the community.
With the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife
Once the elders were certain that the go ahead had been given by Bakuka, just like in the traditional marriage khuboa chinyinja, the new couple are offered a meal to be shared with elders. This meal, like a cake in modern marriage, was served as a sign of solemnizing their union. But even so, given the nature of their union, they do not to get to enjoy as those undergoing khuboa chinyinja.
For all they partake is the roasted liver. They do not carry any of the meat nor in other ways partake of it. This was because the meat of a sacrificed animal faced the same rites as with other cultural meats such as silukhi.
